Today I’m interviewing Julie Roberts. She was a pilot for over twenty years before, in her own words, “physical battles reedited her life in a different direction.” She suffers from late-stage Lyme disease, and was completely bedridden. Then, during that healing process, she was in a car accident that left her with a syrinx in her spine and a progressive and painful disease called Syringomyelia.
And yet, despite intense chronic pain, Julie’s story is about finding joy and purpose despite her circumstances. She lives with the daily risk of becoming paralyzed, but still believes there must be a greater purpose. She now helps others to heal through her company Original Rx , as well as directing an international non-profit in India.
(Kinda’ makes our spilt coffee this morning seem a little bit insignificant, right?)
Can you tell us a little bit about your story and what you’ve overcome in order to do what you’re doing today?
I think I would describe my story more as continual process of overcoming and transformation. I always loved the symbolism of renewal of a caterpillar going from a cocoon,to a butterfly. However, my life experience has not been one as simple as a one way transformation with a beautiful ending. I don’t know if that is realistic. I would describe my journey more as a constant remodeling project with several major demolitions along the way.
I had a carefully laid out a “perfect plan” for my life that included world travel, my job as an airline pilot, an expanding non-profit and a very active lifestyle. I not only had a plan A and B in life, but I had a plan C, D, and E. I was “in control”, or so I thought. I had painstakingly been dedicated to nutrition, fitness and toxic free living that I felt would ensure my youthfulness to accomplish my lofty goals. Little did I know all the exercise routines and diet plans in the world could not protect me from the battle of my life with Lyme disease.
In 2013 my life came turned upside down as I became bedridden and deathly ill. I lost my ability to walk normally, could not hold my head up, and could not finish my sentences. Everything I knew and everything I was became unrecognizable. I am a woman of faith and I believed in the power of prayers and miracles. However, my healing did not come in a timely fashion nor on my terms. I learned quickly that traditional medicine was not going to save me. I had to go “outside the box” on a journey that would eventually lead me to recovery. Through this experience I completely lost myself as I faced the fear of death. I questioned everything I was and everything I would become.
As I began to recover from Lyme disease, I was in a car accident that set me back into a physical crisis. I was not prepared for the news that I had developed a syrinx in my spinal cord that would become a permanent part of my future. A syrinx is similar to a water balloon blocking the spinal cord which destroys the cord from the inside out. It cannot be radiated away because it’s simply my own spinal fluid under pressure. Surgery is too risky and can result in paralyzation. I was suddenly faced with the reality that I could not educate myself out of this new disease called Syringomyelia. My now healthy mind and body were trapped in a broken shell. I was faced with new limitations that prevented me from returning to my job as an airline pilot, prevented me from driving a car, and stole so many joys of my life. I am limited to lifting a max of 15 lbs and told not to bounce or strain due to the risk of the syrinx expanding. This could result in paralyzation or body function loss. I was told even a cough or a sneeze should be avoided due to the potential risk. My dreams to return to my project in India now are put on hold.
As of today, there is no known cure for this affliction.
I have had to grieve all the losses and changes in lifestyle, not to mention the incredible nerve pain and headaches that come randomly, sometimes just with changes in the weather.
Trapped in her body:
I’m now trapped in a body that doesn’t cooperate, and from day to day I don’t know when I awake if my toes or hands will work that day. The syrinx, shaped like a bullet, now has me under the threat of internal physical terrorism. And yet… it’s invisible. I hide it behind my smile. I hesitate to make plans for the future and the concept of “living in the moment” has taken on a new meaning.
Wow, Julie. I’m sure everyone reading this is sending you love and healing. Your story makes me really appreciative of good health. Can you tell me a little bit more about the non-profit in India?
16 years ago I adopted twins from India that opened me to an entire new world. I feel in love with the people of India. Adoptions in India shut down shortly after bringing my daughters home and my heart called me back to work with the orphans who would never have the opportunity to be in a family. Over a 12 year period I returned to India several times per year and it became my second home. I rooted myself in a small beach community where we built a school and started our non-profit dedicated to breaking the cycle of poverty. I was certain this was my main purpose in life and my plans were to retire in India after my children in the US were grown. My physical limitations have made returning impossible and too risky at this point in time. This has been heart breaking for me to be away from the people in India I consider family. Thankfully my staff continues to carry on the mission and I’m able to be involved from a distance.
So how do you do all of it? What tools or techniques do you use to stay positive, even amidst debilitating pain?
I am firmly rooted in the belief that nothing is a coincidence. I believe that out of experiences and pain, we transform into something more intentional and meaningful. I allow myself days to grieve and cry, yet I do not allow myself to stay in that place. I continually look back to see how my experiences have developed my compassion and ability to help others.
What has been your biggest learning over the last five years? What can you share with us?
I have learned that my obsession to plan and control my life was in vain. Life encompasses all the emotions including joy, grief and pain. I quit trying to avoid pain and instead realized that it has made me who I am today. I have stopped trying to fight life and have taken more of a position of surrender. Surrender does not mean becoming a victim. I can compare it to floating instead of treading water. I have seen so many miraculous connections and met so many amazing souls I would not have met had life gone “my way”. I have taken the abilities that remain and expanded on them. My experience of healing opened the door to studying genetics and I have found a way to employ my brain and satisfy my inner geek. Because I cannot drive, I have poured myself into the study of epigenetics and began counseling others from my home. As I see others heal and respond to this knowledge, part of my heart heals as well.
My experience with chronic pain opened the doors to frequency medicine and natural ways to manage pain. With this I’m able to teach others and give them some relief from their pain. We cannot always perfectly manage it, but those of us who suffer from chronic pain appreciate any relief we can find. As I connect with others and become part of their healing and comfort, I see that this purpose is greater than what I could have planned. I could not be in this position of serving others had I not experienced it myself.
Your message of surrender is so powerful and something that can help all of us.
How do you stay focused on all of your projects?
Because my physical limitations are not predictable, I need to keep fluidity in my plans. I’m still learning to delegate projects and teach others to take on duties I once did myself. I focus my energy on education and try not to put limits or expectations on where this knowledge will lead. Despite all the damage in my spinal cord and brainstem, I’m blessed that my ability to devour information has remained intact. I have come to trust that I do not have to know where my future will lead specifically.
In your opinion, what one thing can people do in order to move forward and move past fears and blocks?
There is no denying that some fear is inevitable. We have the choice to walk through it, or we can stay in it. The more experience we have passing through the emotion of fear, the more we realize it’s mostly rooted in our imagination. As we practice walking by the boogieman of fear and giving it a gracious nod, we begin to reap the benefits of faith. Fear, like pain, is part of human existence. It’s our choice how much control we give it.
What is the best advice that you have for anyone who is looking to heal themselves, either physically or emotionally?
I think it’s import to realize that often there is a plan for our life that is bigger than our own. The world is full of variables that are out of our control. When we stop fighting our circumstances and our struggles, we can be shaped by them in beautiful ways. If we are willing to become uncomfortable at times, we learn that there is a life of purpose and wonder on the other side. When we refuse to give fear and pain too much control, we can free up the energy to see greater possibilities. Most importantly, I have found that looking outside myself to help others is one of the most healing experiences. This does not mean that I am responsible for for others, but that I can find joy by extending my compassion. I can take the hand of others to help them naviagate through paths in life that I have walked before. This is what being human is all about.
How do you practice healing in your own life?
I no longer live a life trying to avoid pain or discomfort. I choice to live a life of purpose despite my current situation. My faith has expanded to the point that I can surrender it beyond my control. My prayer life is no longer one of a stream of requests, but rather a conversation with God that starts and ends with “I trust you”.
Julie Roberts is a pastor and the founder of Wings Outreach Worldwide. WOW is an international non-profit organization dedicated to breaking the cycle of poverty though education. Julie is also the founder of Original Rx which promotes the concept that technology is finally catching up to the wonders of natural healing. She is dedicated to educating on unique methods to support body to heal and manage pain.
